Areas of daily life like work, home maintenance, self-care, and caring for children and/or parents can be made challenging by the necessity of dialysis treatments. Your social life, too, can feel intruded upon, and this shouldn’t be swept aside; personal relationships are critical to your quality of life. You may wonder if it’s possible to date when you’re dealing with a serious health condition like chronic kidney disease (CKD), and the answer is yes. Here, the National Kidney Foundation (NKF) offers several tips for dating while on dialysis.* 

Tips for dating while on dialysis

Deciding what, and how much, to reveal about your health when you’re just getting to know someone can feel daunting. Here are some tips to guide you through some of the awkwardness.

Educate your partner

The average layperson isn’t knowledgeable about the disease or its treatments. Share information from your own experience, from resources like Responsum for CKD, and from education and advocacy organizations like the NKF and the American Kidney Fund. You could also:

• Go food shopping and cook a kidney-friendly meal together.
• Participate in a community walk to support kidney health.
• Follow and share relevant posts, and watch kidney-related videos together.

Be honest about your life with CKD

You don’t need to divulge every detail about your daily experience, sharing about what your life is like with the condition gives your partner the opportunity to learn, sympathize, and form realistic expectations. You might include information about:

• How CKD and dialysis affect your energy and emotions, 
• Why you might sometimes need to cancel plans at the last minute, or 
• Difficulties that you anticipate with sexual and other intimate activities. 

Plan ahead but be flexible

You know best how you feel in between, just before, and just after dialysis sessions. Plan accordingly, pay attention to your energy levels, and honor your body. Save more vigorous activities for when you tend to feel your best, and less demanding activities for days when your energy is low or you’re not feeling up to par. This might include enjoying dinner and a movie at home, going for a scenic drive, listening to music, or some other low-key activity. Both of you should be prepared for a change of plan depending on how you feel at the moment.

Talk about your goals and intentions

Dialysis impacts not only your life, but also the lives of your life partner, children, and other immediate family or close relationships. Discuss your own health goals (do you plan to seek a kidney transplant?), as well as the goals you each have for the relationship and your future together. Does it involve:

• Children? 
• Travel? 
• Going back to school? 

Speak about your wants and needs openly, and embrace working through logistics and challenges together.

Build a support system

It’s wonderful to find an understanding partner to lean on. It’s also important, however, to avoid leaning only on your partner, and to build a wide support system whose different members and components can help sustain you through rough times. In addition to your partner, your support system may consist of:

• Friends
• Family members
• A spiritual or religious community leader
• A peer support group, whether in person or online
• A mental health counselor
• A coach or mentor
• Colleagues at work and/or in volunteerism/advocacy

The NKF provides several resources for you to connect with peers on dialysis, advocates, and others who can help support you on your journey.

*The National Kidney Foundation. (2024, February 14). Six Tips for Dating while on Dialysis. PR Newswire. https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/six-tips-for-dating-while-on-dialysis-302061338.html